courage

 

Hmm...where to begin...

Well, if you are still reading this blog, then you probably guessed from my last post that I have been a bit down. This period of sadness began after I returned to the States from my almost one month of traveling to Australia, New Zealand and Bonaire. Traveling, exploring, chasing after sharks (which totally freaked out the hubs; an unexpected response to seeing sharks), living life on the edge, and seeing God's beauty, really awakened my soul. I found myself pondering a lot of things about life, and I felt like God was pushing me to do something, but I didn't know what to do. I just felt helpless and lost. I won't go into details, but I finally decided to do something about it. 

I began to pray. 

I asked God to reveal to me what he wants for my life. If he wanted me to stay put, then I prayed for him to help me to be more content, joyful and grateful for the life I have been given. But, if he had a different plan than what I was currently doing, I prayed for him to lead me and I would trust in him and follow. 

I became more and more restless, but I also was clinging tighter and tighter to God putting my complete trust and faith in him. 

I also began reaching out to others. Thank you God for friends and family. He has given me some amazing, wonderful and supportive people in my life, who have really given me so much love, joy and encouragement these past few months. Not too mention, a wonderful, patient and loving husband. Thank you to all who prayed, emailed me, sent me an encouraging song, scripture, positive quote from Pinterest :), sat and cried with me, and simply love me.

Joy was slowly restored, hope replaced despair, peace came over me and God healed my broken thoughts.

A job opportunity fell into my lap. A completely new career path that would take advantage of my skill set in a new and productive way. 

I prayed earnestly to God about it. As did many others.

And in 3 weeks, I will start this new path. I am still in shock how quickly God moved. I was chosen over people who had experience, who were certified, who were more knowledgeable.

But, they chose me. In fact, I was told that they "loved" my personality and enthusiasm. 

That is all God's doing.

I tell you this not to boast about myself, but to boast about what God has done for me. Just in case you are where I was, I truly and whole-heartedly believe that if you bring it to God, trust in him, completely surrender to his will, he will do things in your life that will amaze you. Because he loves you that much. It may not be what you expected or planned, but it is what he has created especially for you. 

"Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!" ~ Psalm 66:16-20

Heart notes

{Pinterest}

I've been thinking about God a lot this summer. Just thinking about all of his creations - flowers, birds, fish, rain, humans, relationships, love, joy, sorrow, etc. These are the things that consume my life currently.

Here's our patio with all of our flowers. I am kind of obsessed with flowers this summer. We don't have cats or dogs, so flowers are my pets, I guess. I love our patio, and when its not too hot, I enjoy sitting out here in our "jungle" and sipping on lemonade.

Here is a photo of my crazy hibiscus tree. It decided today that it wanted to bloom some yellow flowers in addition to its pink blooms. Next to the hibiscus tree is my crazy lantana flowers. I have found with these little guys that they need lots of water, nurturing and room to grow. Kind of like humans, huh?

In addition to flowers, we have fish! The hubs finally completed his year-long project of building a fish tank, and its a beauty folks. Here are two newest fishies - Bon and Jovi. They are a mated pair of cardinal fish. They are kind of high maintenance, only wanting the best food.

So, back to God. Sometimes in this big world made smaller thanks to the likes of Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc., I begin to compare myself to others, and begin to feel heavy thoughts of worthlessness. I find myself comparing my body, my clothes, my career, my home, my successes, and feeling less than everyone else. Once these thoughts/lies take hold, I find myself striving for perfection in all areas of my life, which makes me tired and want to give up because I'm never going to be enough. I'm never going to meet the expectations of this world. These thoughts are so futile and hurtful to my heart, and I know they are hurtful to God's heart as well, since he has blessed me with so much more than I deserve, and loves me enough to send his only Son to die for me as a ransom for my sin so that I may have eternal life with him in heaven. 

Thankfully, God has been speaking so much truth to my heart lately. I like to think of them as "heart notes" - reminders of God's love for me. On Saturday while I was preparing to go spend some time with a sweet friend, God began to tell me about how precious, beautiful, perfect and loved I am by him. He created me to glorify him. I am his creation. His masterpiece. He delights in me. In his sight, I am perfect. And he wants me to see myself as he sees me. He does not want to me to live up to the expectations of this world. He has overcome this world. And in him, I am enough. I am free to be me. And that is such a beautiful and precious gift. I am so thankful for God and his truth he speaks to me.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~ Matthew 6: 25 - 34