Asparagus Flambee

I've never claimed to be a great cook...not even a good cook. Some women are just naturally inclined to be great cook's, great homemakers, great "nesters," what have you. I've tried. I've really, really tried, but sometimes, you just have to realize that no matter how hard you try, you should just throw in the towel and stick to frozen TV dinners. I came to that realization last night.

My friend Charlotte had me over for chicken kabobs and grilled asparagus last Friday. It was sooo good and seemed simple enough. Marinade the chicken and veggies and skewer them, and marinade the asparagus and grill it. Easy...for the average person. I did everything, just like Charlotte told me. Smelled good and looked good. Only difference was that I don't have a grill and had to use my broiler. "No biggie," I thought. So, I put the asparagus on the cookie sheet and placed it in the oven. Next thing I know, flames, FLAMES are pouring out of my oven. I panic. I thoughtfully grabbed the oven mit, said a little prayer and pulled the flaming cookie sheet out of the oven. I know, from past experiences, that one should not pour water on a grease fire. So, I just stood there in shock as I watched the flames engross my asparagus and pondered what to do. The flames began to die down so I either sighed in relief OR I purposefully and carefully blew a puff of air on the asparagus (can't really recall due to post-traumatic stress), as if I was blowing out birthday candles in celebration of a great event. "What celebration" you ask...Living to tell the tale and not lose my eyebrows, eyelashes and face. I quickly turned down the oven heat to 120 and ran to the door and began wafting fresh air into my apartment...did this for about 15 minutes. Then, when the oven cooled down, I placed the asparagus back into the oven, checking my poor green veggies. Took me about 30 minutes to stop shaking and 50 minutes for the asparagus to cook since it was on very LOW heat.

In the end, the asparagus was tasty, but I did walk away from the traumatic event with a lesson learned...don't cook without adult supervision and stick to what you know...Frozen TV Dinners! This lady knows what I'm talkin' about :)