I am sorry for being so awkward today

Today, I have learned that sleep deprivation results in awkwardness.

It began when I decided to roll out of bed at 7:20 a.m. (leaving me with 20 minutes to get dressed, clean and ready for the day), and thought not washing my hair after having slept on it wet was a good idea. I threw my hair into a braid and tossed on a headband, and thought, "I'm going for bohemian." Not a good idea. I also thought not wearing makeup today was ok. Seriously? Am I just trying to look ugly today? Apparently.

Then, it was off to work where I awkwardly talked to someone in the bathroom 

(Note: I hate talking to people in the bathroom, especially when you are doing your thing in there. Just get in and get out, and then we can talk if you still want to talk.).

Next, I found myself in the lunch room heating up my meal, when someone I didn't know introduced himself to me, and I said, "I thought you look familiar." What? I don't know you. Then, I proceeded to stutter and say, "What I meant to say was I thought I didn't recognize you." Nice recovery. Hmm.

Then, I did a few awkward bump into you "dances" with the same person. Third time, I just stopped and put my head down. Go around me and just avoid me for the rest of the day.

I'm sure there will be more "situations" since I have a 2 hour meeting to end the day.

And on that note, I need a haircut. 

Like I said, I'm awkward, random and pretty much anything that makes you feel uncomfortable today. 

That's me. 

I need sleep.

Got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight...

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YAY! It's the first day back to school for the youngins, and I'm sooo jealous! I wanna go school supply shopping and pick out some new shoes and backpack! My mom always bought me Reebok high tops. I love high tops. And I love pencils. I miss pencil sharpeners. The old school kind that were nailed to the wall and had a handle. Hmm...I wish I were a kid again.

What do you miss about the first day of school?

 And here's a little gem of a song to get you in the mood for Back to School :)

Awkward and Awesome

Awkward

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Getting hit on at a gas station by a man missing his two front teeth.

Awesome

Celebrating the besties with a wedding shower.

Awkward

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Seeing two doves making out on top of a car this morning. They couldn't keep off each other, but I guess that's what spring does to the birds.

Awesome

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 Cooked an awesome meal with the hubs.

Awkward

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Getting your eyes dilated at the eye doc and having people at work ask "Why are you looking at me like that?" Geez. Sorry.

Awesome

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Ending the day with a margarita beer, a cigar and the hubs.

To Kill A Robin

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Yesterday as I sat on the couch planning the week's meals, I heard a consistent tapping on the window every 1-2 minutes. As I stood in front of the window trying to figure out what the noise was, a little, fat robin flew himself into our window. "What the...," I screamed. The hubs stayed in his office. Of course, I am the one that has to deal with this suicide bird bombing. The little guy was literally knocking the poo out of himself. Seriously, bird poo everywhere on our deck. Disgusting. I don't want to clean that up. He even managed to get some on the window. Yuck.

I googled the phenomenon, and come to find out, this is common in the spring time. According to Cornell, the behavior is a "territorial reaction."

"This is the time of year when most birds are busy establishing their territories, finding a mate, laying eggs, and raising their young. They are very protective of their territory and will attack and try to drive away any bird they view as a possible competitor or a threat to their young. When they see their own reflection in your window, they assume they’re seeing a competitor and so they attack their own image."

Great, on top of having poo in my house and a mole in our yard (yes, he's still here), we have horny birds flying into our windows. This must be the "Birds" part of the "Birds and the Bees." Oh goody. When are the bees gonna show up next?

What is the solution to stopping the insanity - I could "streak my windows with soap" OR "put nets up to distract" the little guys. Yea, cause that all sounds great. (Please note the sarcasm in my writing...) The hubs printed off a picture of an eagle to tape to the window. We'll try that for now, or else its either bird-poo covered windows or soap covered windows. Might just stay with the poo theme we seem to have going.

What stinks?

There has been a strange aroma around our household lately. I thought it was the hubs. He thought it was me. Come to find out, the stench is coming from our house plants.

A few weeks ago, my mom told me I needed to buy some plant fertilizer. I'm new to the gardening businnes, but no biggie. I can buy fertilizer...OR so I thought.

I bought organic fertilizer aka poop. I did think there was a bit of a funky smell, but I just figured all fertilizers smelled funny. But, then I thought about it and yep, it's poop. Our house smells like poop. The hubs thinks its hilarious. I think it just plain stinks like poop. What a gross word, and now, its in my house till its sunny and warm enough for me to put the plants outside. To make matters worse, the plants are in the kitchen. barf.

Rando

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Prepare yourself for an uber random post.

HELLO! Last week was an interesting week. In addition to struggling with back pain from too many spills, I was diagnosed with shingles. oh joy. I have little painful red bumps in patches on my left leg that shoot pain up and down my leg. The hubs keeps reminding me that I basically have herpes on my leg. Thank you for that, love. 

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I ended up missing 3 days of work last week due to the nerve and back pain, so I did a lot of sleeping, yoga and watching "Keeping up with the Kardashians." By the way, I wasn't a fan of Khourtney at first, but she is beginning to grow on me. I've also been watching "The Bachelor." The hubs has been watching it with me too. We both think Brad Womack is such a wonk. Yes, the hubs has opinions about "The Bachelor." He actually gets really into it, although if you asked him, he wouldn't admit it. He really like Emily, the "tragic mother." While watching this weeks episode he said (and I quote), "Aww, she is just too sweet. I hope he picks her." No lie. He secretly LOVES the show.

Back to the matter at hand...I got bored really quickly last week. Actually, I don't know if it was boredom or my pain pills, but I got antsy. So I decided to paint.

 

I was extremely proud of this painting until I realized that the quote that I thought I got from "The Godfather" was incorrect. Instead of "swim" it should be "sleep." Oops. Its the pain medicine. It makes me forgetful and say stupid things. Oh well. I like it.

Happy Hump Day!

Making Melonade

Why, oh why, did God choose ME to be His source of comic relief?

My mom told me that when I was a bay-bay and I had chickenpox, I ran around the house growling and acting like a monster. That is SO me. Now, an "adult," if I can so call myself, I have shingles (the same virus that causes chickenpox). God must have been having a rough day, and needed a good laugh. He remembered his old pal, J, and thought, "she can handle it. she's got a good sense of humor, and she'll definitely give me a good laugh." Well, dear heavenly father, I am NOT going to run around like a monster this time! Uh uh! No way! Ok, so I might have, just maybe, acted like I was going to attack my hubs last night with my "disease." He was scared and made me go wash my hands. Oh the joys of being a grown-up child.

Dem bones, dem bones

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Lord, help me. I mean, who seriously falls 4 times in one season!? No, I did not fall once, not twice, and not three times, but FOUR times this winter. Once on the driveway, once in a parking lot, once in a grocery store (dairy aisle to be exact) and once in a book store.

I have started going to a physical therapist because the pain in my back was not going away and I couldn't even bend over to touch my toes. I love my physical therapist. She is a kind woman, but she kicks my bootie every time I go in to see her. I'm paying her to hurt me, but it feels so good. Weird, no?

I'm not the only one falling either. The hubs tripped in the dark this morning and rammed his head into a door. I was sleeping when this happened, but heard the thud. No worries. He hurt the door more than it hurt him.

I'm a scent

Just googled "Calamity J" (yes, I'm vain like that), and found this perfume...

Love the logo :) So leather and lace, huh? 

Watch out Hubs!

Man, I love this woman

Laura Bell Bundy is, in two words, Frickin' Awesome! She was in the musicals Hairspray, Wicked and Legally Blonde, AND now, she's gotta country music album. She is living my dream, dang her! But I still adore, thee. Plus, she's corny, she knows she's corny, and she's layin' it on thick. Gotta love it, and if not, well Bahumbug to you too :)