Thursday, December 30, 2010

A toast

Welp, 2010 is almost over. It's been a good year. I got a promotion, a raise, and a new job within the same month, I got married, got a new set of parents and a sister, got a house and a yard to plant flowers in, went to Hawaii, scuba dived with turtles and had my first Christmas with my Hubs.

It really was a great year. But with the passing of yet another birthday (am I seriously 27!?) and Christmas, which seems to fly by faster and faster every year, a lot of questions and thoughts come to mind. One of the thoughts that is constantly in my prayers and thoughts is "what is my purpose in life?" Big question, I know. And of course, only God knows the answer and will reveal it in his timing, BUT...I'm really hoping and praying that answer comes soon.

I'm not getting any younger (last night, I purchased my first anti-wrinkle product!) and I'm just really beginning to wonder what is it that I'm living for? What is waking me up and motivating me to live every day? When will be my last day on earth? How many New Years is it going to take for me to finally achieve my resolutions!? Morbid thoughts, I know, but they have been weighing heavy on me lately.

One thing I do know is that I don't want to just let life pass me by. I hate how the big, important moments in life always seem to just fly by and become memories that I can post photos of on facebook...But, I also know I can't live for those days either because the majority of life is made up of the mundane. I want to live my life with purpose...all of it, the big important events and the mundane. But how?

Not sure when this happened, but I've become addicted to online shopping always looking for the next big thing to purchase. I think its the affect of nesting. I just want to add more fluff to my "nest," but if I'm honest all the new fluff really doesn't make my life any better.

Instead of investing in the superficial, I want to invest in my husband, friends and family, and myself, and by myself, I mean working to become a more involved citizen, and a stronger woman both spiritually, physically and mentally. I want to read a book and actually make it all the way through even if I only gain one nugget from it. I want to be more adventurous and go on a trip with the Hubs and my friends on a whim. I want to not be afraid to make the first move with a new friendship and actually follow up there after. I want to focus on strengthening and nourishing my body with physical activity and fresh food, rather than sitting on the couch in a food coma. And, I want to know God better. I want to really know him, and live my life for him instead of how I think the world wants me to live.

I want to keep my word. Last night, the Hubs and I were discussing about how one day, we want to go to Spain and drink sangria in a creepy hole in the wall bar hidden in an alley, travel to Prague to pick up some awesome mulled wine spices, and sky dive in Australia and swim the Great Barrier Reef. I stopped the Hubs immediately, and said "Let's not just say 'someday we will do this and that' because who knows when our someday is up. Let's instead say 'we will do this and that' and make plans to actually do it.

No more wishing and hoping through life. I've only got one chance at this, and I don't want to waste it.

So here's to 2011!

Wishing you more happiness
Than all my words can tell,
Not just alone for New Years Eve
But for all the year as well.

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