Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Fo Realz

I use to think that when the Bible said to "Be like Jesus," that meant I had to be perfect. I'm re-thinking that thought. Yes, Jesus was perfect, and yes, as a Christian we should strive to be holy and righteous, but I think perfection drives people batty and results in snottiness. No matter how hard I try, I'm just never going to be perfect. And if I'm so busy trying to be perfect, then tell me what is the point of God's grace?

Plus, perfection is so vanilla. And Jesus is far from vanilla. He's more of a double chocolate chip with peanut butter and hot fudge kind of Savior.

I tried the whole perfection thing, and it sucks. I'm over it. As a young Christian striving to be what I thought God wanted me to be (perfect), I found that not only was I feeling judged by other Christian women, but I too was judging others. Well that is just a bunch of cow poo if you ask me. God called us to love one another, and I especially hate seeing women be mean to each other. I don't think that's what Jesus wants. In my humble, could-be-quite-possibly-wrong opinion, I believe that when the Bible calls us to "Be like Jesus," they were telling us to love and serve others. Jesus is the definition of love after all.

Last night, I went to my first bible study group meeting and I was scared. In my heart, I had kind of given up on bible study groups because I never felt accepted. I never felt like I was enough, which is so wrong to feel when I am accepted and I am enough because of Jesus' sacrifice. So, I was scared. I was so scared, I think I might have stuttered a few times...yea, a new habit I've developed. I'm weird, but I just figure its God's way of getting a good laugh, so I'm cool with it. Anyway last night was good. I asked God to open my heart to these women and allow them to see me for me. Flaws, sins, stuttering hot mess and all. Since it was the first night, it was more of a social occasion, but I felt God working in me. My heart was open, and I saw the hearts of other women who were wanting fellowship with real women as well.

Oh, and my bible study leader cusses. She loves Jesus, drinks wine, eats chocolate, can't cook AND she cusses. She's a good woman, a REAL woman, but Lord knows she ain't no angel. And I love it. She needs grace and forgiveness just as much as the next person.

God knows what I need. And man, is He good to me.

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