Friday, August 13, 2010

I am not cut out for this {bleep}

A letter of anger to my garden foes:

Mr. Mole. Grr. I am angered by you. How did you get into my yard? I understand that you are blind, but you made a wrong turn and are messing with the wrong chic. I don't appreciate your tunneling through my flowerbed. I will step on your mounds of dirt until your tunnels collapse. What is the point of your species? I mean really. I googled you and you have no purpose, but to annoy me. I don't approve of hurting animals, but I will find away to rid my yard of you, if it is the last thing I do.

And you, Whiteflies. What are you? You look like lice and are covering my flowers. Why must you kill my flowers? How did you get here and why me? Did you know that I am new to this and I don't know what I'm doing? Who do you work for? Let me guess, Mr. Mole. Grr. Mr. Mole.

Yes, I am new at this, and yes, I don't know what I am doing in my garden. But do know this, I do not give up without a fight. I may be small and I may have curly hair that turns into frizz in this ridiculous summer heat, but I've got a fight in me. I will Muhammed Ali your booties. I. Will. Destroy. You.

p.s. Hubby, we had a hummingbird yesterday eating from our butterfly bush. He let me watch him for a long time. I named him Herbert...just thought you should know.

1 comment:

Lindsey said...

a hummingbird named herbert? that was my turtles name :)