Weekend Plans

I love this photo of Norma Jean Baker (aka Marilyn Monroe). She looks so carefree and happy! Let's hope that is how my weekend goes. I am going on a float trip. My second float trip ever. The first one was not a success. I went with a bunch of fraternity boys, which was my first mistake. Yes, the hubby was there. He soberly suffered with me. Second mistake. Float trips aren't fun for the sober. You witness chaos and often bear the brunt of it, where others are too inebriated to know whats going on.

The first float trip began with a cigarette put out on my arm by some drunk dude. I stared back at him in disbelief. I was polite and shy back then, but if it happened now, I would have kicked his arse. Next up, drunk dudes and dumb girls have a food fight with our lunch throwing wet sandwiches at each other...We floated down the river for 8 hours with no food and lots of beer. Third mistake.

Then, I got a beer to the head. Literally. Some drunk dude threw a beer to his buddy and it hit me in the head instead. Such is my life. And if my head hadn't taken enough beating, the boat capsized and the hubby, then boyfriend, trying to "save my life" threw me out of the boat and into a log, where I smacked my head and now seborrheic dermatitis exists. Look it up. One of the causes is trauma to the head. I got it twice that day.

Fourth mistake: The hubby thought it would be a good idea to put his keys in the cooler while we floated down the river. Cooler was tossed into the river during the food fight, and magically, the keys were gone = no ride home from Steelville, Mo. Possibly the scariest place ever, and in my opinion, the actual site of Deliverance. I swear I saw people staring at us in the woods.

Fifth mistake: Rode back on bus with drunk dudes and dumb girls to get a spare set of keys for the hubby's car that we left in Steelville, Mo. I witnessed my first b*tch slap. I was not the recipient, luckily. Some drunk dude's mean girlfriend was mad, for who knows why.

Sixth mistake: Rode back with bus driver to Steelville, Mo., to get hubby's car. Looking back, the bus driver guy could have been a mass-murderer for all we known. He took us to his house first, and drove back to the camp site in a van filled with junk. Not smart. I don't advise doing.

Seventh mistake: Hubby left cellphone in bus, but we didn't realize till we were on our way back home. We said "Screw it" and kept going.

Eighth and final mistake: Left hubby's room unlocked while we took the second road trip to Steelville, Mo., to pick up his car, while a bunch of drunk dudes and dumb girls ran around the fraternity house creating more chaos resulting in some drunk dude dumping beer and laundry detergent into the hubby's fish tank. All the fish died. First time I ever saw the hubby cry. It was a sad day.

All in all, the trip failed. So, I'm hoping this one will be a success, but after writing this, I'm questioning our weekend plans. I'm praying we survive this float trip, but based on past experiences, outlook is not good. This time, its with the hubby and his fellow med students. Oh dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into.